Monday, February 2, 2009

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Jan 31, 2009

Well I don’t know where to begin? I have arrived at my first stop before Kuwait watched 2 movies on the way and cried my ass off both times impart that I can relate to there emotions and feel what they would be feeling, the funny thing is that I can’t remember the names but they hit home… I’m always a sap for romantic movies about love an the things we do for love…
I sit here watching everyone around me trying to be strong and not showing our weakness on this flight. We all have the same fear that comes, with our final destination. Some chose to come others where forced and had no other choice. I fall under both categories and I go with no fear. I have been through a lot emotionally and physically and as I look around and I see my shipmates and look in to their eyes… some are watery with the hint of tears trying to escape, trying to free them self’s. We fight them back and hold them in place for we are on a journey of the unknown.  We all got the orders to come to Iraq a war zone of bombs and gun fights and death for the unlucky ones… We all have our jobs that we have been doing for yrs and none of that involved guns and tactical warfare…  we are store keepers, yeoman’s, cooks, policemen, mechanics, teachers, lawyers, doctors and nurses, and plain laborers…  We are not combatants but they did the best
 they could to get us ready and make us into warriors… Some of us picked up the gun for the 1st time felt the cold steel beneath our touch. Feeling the power it has, the power to kill to take a life… or have ours taken.  We learn how to hold it and how to aim it. You’d think just point and shoot but if u want to be accurate it takes more then that…  the thing you hold has the power between who dies and its usually the one that knows how to use it… They teach you to make this weapon a part of you that it is another part of your body like an arm or a leg… with out it you are handicapped so you take it everywhere and it is bound to you night and day till you forget its there…  it becomes. Apart of you an when u take it off u feel necked and incomplete. That is what they instill in us before we leave it might safe our life..
We all have our jobs that we did before now.. They give us new ones that we don’t even know, all our orders say is Iraq or Afghanistan what we will be doing we don’t know… driving in a convoy being a gunmen at the gate or ordering tissue for the heads…  the only clue you get about your type of job is the weapon you get issued.. If u get an m16 that’s a no brainer means you are in definite danger an m9 not to much but still there… I got a m9, the feeling of carrying an m9 from a m16 is funny… its of importance they teach that in training. That Sudam executed his people with the m9, that Iraqis fear the 9m more then the M16.. I think that’s funny that size won’t matter in theater.. lol  yea they call it theater  like its something fun.. a new flick or play… make a war zone sound fun..  ahh the military they have such a sense of humor…
Well we took off again leaving Amsterdam for Kuwait.. I see the nervous looks and laughter from my shipmates.. make’n jokes about the plane crashing or get’n shot down before we even make it…  Us sailors are hard core we are different then other branches of service. We are more diverse then other branches we learn our 1st yrs out to sea how to be flexible and travel the sea’s blindly and working together as a team to keep our ship afloat and operational ready at all times…  we stay out for months at a time defending our waters and coast…  we bound with our shipmate  on more levels then anyone person can understand…  its hard on a sailor,  family and relationships are tested beyond  anything…  We are use to the separation  and the heart aches of love found and love lost due to our jobs…  now we are evolving  leaving the seas to go to land to help pick up the slack of our counter parts on shore… carrying guns and being taught how to
 kill sending our loved ones into shock. They  are use to us leaving out to sea and knowing we will be back in a few months..  This is different there is no certainty of our survival and as I look around I see it in there eyes the sadness the fear, but the determination to make it through the roughest seas will kick in before we land… we will adapted to our new surroundings we my not be on the open seas of the deep blue….   But will adapted to the mounds of seas of deserts and sands from horizon to horizon we will travel…  with this I end my 1st entry..